Embracing Slow Travel for Relaxed Family Trips

Meandering and not rushing

We've all heard of the "slow food" movement, where many people are turning away from fast food and trying to enjoy the experience of a long restaurant meal. This, of course, is a little alien of a concept in countries like France, where every meal takes a few hours, so maybe Americans can relate to this more.

Along the same lines, I want to introduce a different movement, especially for parents traveling with their kiddos. "Slow travel".

As the dad of a five-year-old, I've learned that family trips require a whole different mindset than my free-spirited backpacking days. Kids march to their own drums—usually a slower, more meandering one that involves stopping to examine every interesting rock and bug along the way. I've tossed my old "must-see-everything" travel style out the window and embraced "slow travel" to its extreme, trading in the racing for the meandering.

Family travel is all about adjusting expectations and redefining what it means to have a "successful" trip, "successful" of course, being a relative term. Gone are the days of cramming in every possible sightseeing spot and racing from one attraction to another. Instead, the focus shifts to slowing down and just enjoying the moment with my family—at a pace that suits everyone, especially the little man.

Balance Is Key

So my wife and I now tone down our trip planning, making sure we mix grown-up activities with kid-friendly adventures. For every art museum visit, we balance it with playground time. For every historic site, we find a cool cafe with cake or macaroons where our little guy can refuel and do the wiggly worm. It's all about the give-and-take, you know.

Stop when you've gotta stop

You've got to remember that kids have a limited attention span. While you might be excited to explore a historic cathedral or an art gallery, your kiddo might find it overwhelming or, frankly, boring. So my theory is that by alternating between adult-focused and kid-friendly activities, you can keep everyone happy. Well, as happy as possible. This approach also allows for a more relaxed itinerary, where there's always something fun for you kid to look forward to, which can make the more 'grown-up' activities more manageable.

Capture the Real Moments

Forget Instagram-perfect moments and focus on the belly laughs, silly songs, and those precious times when your kid's face lights up with some pure sense of mysterious entertainment. Those are the souvenirs worth keeping. It's these unplanned moments that often become the highlights of your trip.

Kids find joy in the simplest things—when at Planckendael Zoo here in Belgium we were in the Orangutan exhibit, there was also a butterfly terrarium. I think we ended up walking in more than one circle chasing those butterflies. Though we were exhausted, we had to remember, it's all right, he's really enjoying the moment, and that's the point of the trip.

There's always something to wait for: a butterfly fluttering by, a funny-looking rock, or a specially made-up window along the street. Embracing these moments, rather than stressing over the perfect photo op, can lead to a more relaxed and enjoyable trip for everyone.

Don't Plan It Tight

Kids have little legs. That means they are S-L-O-W. And if yours is anything like mine, it can take twenty minutes just to get a shirt on. You know your kid. Just as you would at home, you need to be sure to factor in the time it takes to do anything when you're planning your trip.

If walking somewhere might take you 20 minutes, then expand that to an hour. You'll have to first walk somewhere, rest two or three times, maybe have a coffee/juice to refresh, play in a random playground, and THEN make your destination. Don't be in a rush though.

Just take it slow, what's the rush?

Embrace the slowness. It's pleasant and relaxing. This is more like soaking in the life of the neighborhood and "living like a local" anyway than racing from one tourist monument to the next. You're there to bond with your kid and partner, creating those golden moments you'll talk about years from now—not to chase down every dusty suggestion from some random internet guru.

Flexibility Is Golden

When traveling with children, keep your schedule loose. Kids move at their own speed, which doesn't always work with a well-thought-out schedule. Allow some time for any number of unplanned detours, rest stops, and unexpected setbacks. If you're willing to be a little flexible, you can transform possible travel disasters into pleasant little side quests.

A flexible itinerary means you can seize unexpected opportunities. You might stumble upon a local festival, a street performance, or a hidden gem of a park that wasn't in any guidebook. These happy accidents are frequently the highlights of a vacation. Being able to adjust your plans on the fly means you're not tied to a rigid schedule, which makes everything less stressful and more enjoyable.

You'll have to let go of an inflexible mindset. Maybe you really had your mind set on making it all the way around the Christmas market and seeing absolutely everything there was to see. Or maybe you can enjoy the place just as much in that one corner of the festival with the carousel. Just let your kid have fun and relax. If you're not in a rush, if you don't really NEED to do something, then why stress out about it?

Ride the carousels

Collaborative Planning

Before the trip, you should have a sit-down with your partner. Make a list. For each day, plan on doing only 1 or 2 things that you'd enjoy. Then 1 or 2 things your partner would enjoy. Then pull up Google Maps and see what kind of things your kid would enjoy between the things you and your partner would enjoy.

This is what I do every time we go somewhere. Though, to be honest, my wife isn't overly interested in this process, and I'm the one more obsessed with staring at maps. But you do whatever works for you. But the search itself can be real fun, I think. Just type in "playground" and Google will bring up all their options, translating it automatically behind-the-scenes so you don't have to worry about language issues.

Under-castle playground discovered on Google Maps

But planning together as a family can make the trip more enjoyable for everyone. If your kid is a little older, include them in the process and show them pictures of all the search results. Mine is always more than happy to say, "That one there!" "That one looks boring!" That's some valuable information there.

Let them choose their favorite, or show them some cool ones that you've pre-selected to get them excited. This not only helps in managing expectations but also builds excitement and gives your child a sense of involvement in the trip, and suddenly buckling him in isn't such a struggle. Though you will have to answer the question of, "How many minutes till the playground?" about one hundred times. But that's better than listening to whining or crying. Choose your battles.

If you're traveling in Europe, keep in mind most of the famous spots have playgrounds next to them or even in them. Especially France. I'm always amazed by how family-friendly that country is. Knowing there are kid-friendly spots near major attractions can make it easier to plan a day that balances everyone’s interests, no doubt about it.

Road Tripping

These thoughts can just as easily be integrated into road trips. For any one or two hours you're driving, make sure to have at least one stop to stretch your legs, and for every three hours, you need some play time. Plan it so you're not in a rush, and your little one can enjoy the experience.

If you don't plan for stops, then those long stretches can turn into long nightmares of whining while the kiddo fights you for future trips. Now at all a good idea. So just as you would do with your walking tours, do with your driving. Plan for stops, whether they be McDo's, rest stops with playgrounds, or villages with menageries or castles. There's always something going on somewhere, especially in Europe.

A roadside dino park in Huy, Belgium

The Joys of Slow Travel

Slow travel isn't just a necessity when traveling with kids—it's a joy. By taking your time, you get to experience places in a way that's often missed in the rush of traditional tourism. And to be honest, you definitely get to "feel" the city a lot more than you would otherwise racing from one tourist site that a local never visits to another.

This slower pace also allows you to forget about some Tripadvisor bullcrap checklist and focus more on your family's needs, enjoying the journey rather than just the destination. Whether it's a leisurely walk through a local market, a long afternoon at a park, or an extended coffee break at a charming café, these moments of relaxation and exploration can lead to deeper connections with both the place you're visiting and the people you're with.

It's just kind of sad that it took me having a kid to fully realize that.

Enjoying the view

Making Memories

Ultimately, the goal of family travel is to make lasting memories. By embracing a slower pace, being flexible, and involving everyone in the planning process, you can ensure that your trips are filled with joy, laughter, and unforgettable experiences. So, pack your bags, embrace slow travel, and get ready for adventures that your family will cherish forever.

This blog is taken from my upcoming book, A Facetious Guide to Traveling with Kids. Sign up on my newsletter to make sure you get a free Kindle copy when it comes out!

Santa teaches our kid about diversity

There's a certain childlike joy that we all get from discovering new places. It's a feeling of excitement and wonder that reminds us of the magic in the world. It's a feeling that our kids get seeing anything, from the simplest of places to the most fascinating. Why not encourage that wonder in our children? Why not give them a sense of worldliness and diversity from the youngest of ages?

By immersing our kids in different cultures, they learn to appreciate and respect the differences that make each individual unique. The exposure also helps develop a broader worldview and a greater appreciation for the beauty and complexity of the world around them. Traveling with young children can truly be a transformative and enriching experience for them (and for you).

Innate prejudices

I consider myself a fairly open-minded person, but I've got to be honest: I've got a whole string of innate biases and prejudices that are automatically registered in my mind. Only if I look at them and see how they influence my actions can I contradict them, but that's a practice that not many people do, as they haven't really developed that kind of awareness. Indeed, it requires a lot of self-reflection and introspection that a lot of people just don't do. And that's not a knock on them, that's just a fact.

I grew up as a middle-class white boy in a Southern/Midwestern suburban town (I'm not really sure what Tulsa is), with extended family in Louisiana. All of that influenced the information going into my head during my formative years and shapes everything to how I immediately react around Black people, or Asians, or gowned or hijabi Muslims, or so on. I can't help it. Similarly, you, dear reader, have automatic thoughts and assumptions concerning anyone you meet or see. Everyone does. Because assumptions are built off past experiences, and they exist to save us time and energy. But often they're just flat wrong, but because society reinforces them, we often fail to question or challenge them.

Growing up with diversity

My Georgian-American kid is growing up here in Brussels, a French-speaking city surrounded by Dutch-speaking towns. And if that weren't linguistic diversity enough, Brussels is also the de facto capital of the European Union, which means thousands of people from all over the world come here to work in embassies and NGOs. It's the most diverse place I've ever lived in, and perhaps ever been to, with the exceptions of maybe New York City or Washington, D.C..

At the local playground—which is literally next to a mosque—it's common to hear Russian, Ukrainian, Czech, Polish, French, Spanish, Italian, Arabic, sometimes Chinese, and other languages I don't recognize. His best friends at school are from Senegal, France, Ukraine, Romania, and Armenia.

At the playground

Now, I grew up when "Pressing 1 for English" was a controversial thing in the US. So I view the world through that lens of prejudice. My mind automatically asks, "What do Belgians think of that mess?"

But also, I think it's really cool that my kid gets to grow up with "that mess". He gets to grow up with a worldview where global diversity is the standard. Where it's more weird to be part of the "same" group of people. Now, I like to think of that as an advantage, but who knows. Maybe that'll have the effect of making him a permanent outsider, but then I grew up with that feeling, and I grew up where everyone was "the same".

All that to say, traveling with young children can really widen their perspective—even if it's not the full experience of living somewhere, it's at least an experience. It educates them by exposing them to diverse cultures, traditions, and experiences. And as I'm writing this around Christmas time, you'll have to forgive my Christmas-centric examples.

Christmas market fun

If you choose to travel to Europe around the holidays, then you're in for a real treat. There is something really magical about Christmas markets, especially in Germany. Probably that magic is rooted firmly in the gluhwein, but it does help foster a kind of Hollywood "Christmas spirit" that you feel in those cheesy Netflix movies; I'll have to admit. And it's pretty fun for kids.

We just went to the Christmas market in Cologne a week before writing this. And though it's perhaps more accurate to say "markets", it was a real treat. There were roughly four or five markets, and a "Christmas train" connected them all; if you're traveling with kids, it might be best to pay for this otherwise pointless tourist attraction. Were we to be childless, I would have simply just ridden the city tram or bus. It ended up being much more convenient, and given how slow the kiddo can go, hugely time-saving.

One of many Kolner Christmas markets

And, I think that was our kid's favorite part! That and the Ferris wheel. He was not impressed by Kolner hot chocolate, that's for sure.

The most interesting thing about Christmas in Europe, though, is just how different they tend to be. The markets themselves have a different character. In France and Germany, they are much more "fairy-tale" oriented; in the Netherlands, they are winter flea markets; in the UK, they are carnival amusement parks; and so on. But even more than the differences in the markets are the differences in the Santas.

Santa-diversity

I've mentioned the cross-cultural creation that is my son. Now the hardest part of raising him is the myth of Santa Claus, and how him being part of so many traditions has really created weird complexities in teaching such a simple narrative. For the record, I'm not really huge on the Big Santa Lie myself, but my wife insists we go along with it.

I just remember the trauma of finding out the truth as a child, and I don't want to put our kids through that. My brother and I opened the Forbidden Hall Closet, where my dad kept all his clothes. We climbed up to the top shelf, to the suspiciously labeled "Santa" box and pulled it down. It fell with a clatter, the open box on the floor with the infamous red suit spilling out. And then I knew my dad was not the source of all that was good in the world: He had been lying to me!

Well, I don't want that. But my wife trumps my childhood tragicomedy.

Anyway, here's a list of the different Santa contenders that I've had to explain to my son. I've had to go through the different ways they're different, and how really they're all the same person, too. And this is all a metaphor for humankind: We're all different, yet we're all the same.

Georgian Santa on break

First, I should mention the reality of the Santa Clause legend. He's really a conflagaration of two different concepts: St. Nicholas of Myra and the pagan Grandfather Frost (who still lives on in Russia as Ded Moroz).

1. Belgium: We have both the Dutch Santa and the French Santa, along with the American Santa. I just want to start with Belgium to get that out of the way, since that's the world he's most exposed to.

   
   

2. US Santa: We all know the jolly fat guy in the red suit, brought to us originally by Coca-Cola a hundred something years back. But the reality is, they didn't invent him. They imported aspects of him from Germany, France, Poland, and the UK. Probably the guys on the Coca-Cola artboard were all immigrants from those places.

   
   

3. Dutch Santa: His name is Sinterklaas and he goes around giving out candies, accompanied by a kid wearing blackface, named Zwarte Piet. The kid has had some controversy over the years, as you might have guessed, but they claim the blackface is from chimney diving and not from performing in minstrel shows. Sinterklaas dresses like a Catholic Bishop, even though they burned down all the Catholic churches in the Netherlands in the 1600s. Yet Santa still reigns supreme!

   
   

4. French Santa: He's got two personalities. First there's Pere Noel/Papa Noel, or "Grandfather Christmas" or "Father Christmas", who's more of a "spirit of Christmas" than based on an actual man. But really he just looks like the American Santa. What's funny is that many Frenchies don't realize Pere Noel IS St. Nicholas. Because they also have St. Nicolas who goes around visiting schools and handing out candy. But he's not accompanied by some racist boy like Sinterklaas.

   
   

5. Georgian Santa: A bonus one for you, since my boy is also Georgian and they also have a Santa. Georgian Santa's named Tovlis Babua (Grandfather Frost). Though it's funny, because tovlis babua is also the word for a snowman. Tovlis Babua gives gifts on New Years, has nothing to do with Christmas (as he was sanitized by the Commies) and wears traditional mountain man clothing.

   
   

6. Cajun Santa: Another bonus! My parents are Cajuns, and one of my earliest holiday memories is my mom reading the Cajun Night Before Christmas. Now that I've a kid, she gave me that book to read. So we read it. According to legend, Cajun Santa is a man riding an eight-alligator-drawn pirogue while wearing muskrat fur.

   
   

Co-exist

So there you go, so many Santas! How about that lesson in cultural diversity! And on top of that, they celebrate in different ways too. Let's just look at gift-giving.

1. In France, Belgium, and Czechia: I'm throwing in Czechia to advertise for my book, A Facetious Guide to Czechia. Most of the gift-giving for children happens on St. Nicolas Day, or December 6, instead of Christmas. Bonus: In Czechia, Santa is accompanied by a hairy, bell-toting demon named Krampus who gifts coal to the bad kids.
   

   My kid recently left one of his shoes at school, because apparently Santa leaves the kids yummy carrots on December 6.
   

   But also the French for a long time ago had New Year's gifts, or etrennes, but then they moved it to Christmas because of the importation of Santa Claus because 'Murica.
   

2. In Georgia, gift-giving was moved to New Year's to remove any religious significance. Same in all theformer USSR countries. And their "Christmas tree" turned into a "New Year's tree".

   
   

3. In the UK and Germany, gift-giving is on Christmas.

   
   

So there you go. If you don't believe me about some real cultural widening, I hope Santa and his gift-giving are enough of a lesson to show you. I'm just using Christmas as an example though, but traveling during a holiday is definitely already a pre-packed cultural marathon of educational materials for your children.

Traditions for teaching

There are plenty of other holidays, though, depending on where you go, with cool traditions to watch for. There's Ommegang in Belgium, with a big medieval parade and performances in the old town. There's Jan Nepomuk Day in Czechia, where they parachute from the sky into the Vltava and barges float around playing orchestral music while they pick up the skydivers. There are the bull-friendly bullfights in South France.

There are scores of crazy, free events going on in all kinds of different locations, you just have to do a little digging in your planning. But they can all be used to teach lessons in history, tradition, and appreciating our differences.

Travel can be a powerful tool for broadening young minds. By immersing our children in diverse cultures, we equip them with invaluable life skills like empathy, adaptability, and a global perspective. From the enchanting Christmas markets of Europe to the vibrant celebrations of other cultures, there are endless opportunities to inspire wonder and curiosity in your little ones.

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Have a wonderful kid holiday travel story? Share it in the comments.

A Golden Stream Through Brussels: A Guide to Its Quirky Statues

Most cities have that one big tourist attraction where you get there and you feel a little underwhelmed. In this, Brussels completely outdoes all the competition. The Mannekin Pis is just about the most underwhelming tourist sight you can ever imagine. Of course, no visit to Brussels is worth its piss if you don’t visit the famed pissing boy, but you also must lump that visit in with the pissing girl and the pissing dog. And after that, piss on a church (quite legally)! And then sit back and wonder if there’s more to Brussels than pissing.

I’ve already written quite a lot on this blog about Belgian pissing culture. Though I never shared this anecdote: I had a Belgian friend who was driving through the Netherlands and he really had to piss. So he did what was natural. Pulled over to the side of the highway, found a bush, and let it fly. The police immediately arrived.

“What are you doing?!” the Dutch officer asked.

“What does it look like?” my friend replied, cigarette hanging from his mouth, penis hanging from his hand.

“You are a savage,” the Dutchman said.

“I am a Belgian,” my friend replied.

“Do you not have toilets in Belgium?”

My friend shrugged. Indeed, toilets are often hard to come by in this country. And when you do come by them, they’re often… weird. Again, see my other blog on this.

Anyways, back to Mannekin Pis. Why is that little guy so revered? Let’s delve in.

A short history of Pis

By the way, I’m not overly sure how to pronounce “Pis”. Is it like the French would say, “Pee”? Though my kid came home from French school, and he pronounced it with the “s”, so perhaps it’s true to the Flemish form.

Regardless as to how it's pronounced, the Manneken Pis is more of a symbol of Brussels than just a transparent metaphor for late-night happenings.

The fountain first made its appearance in 1619 when Hieronimus Duquesnoy the Elder completed it. The meaning and purpose behind it has been lost in the mists of the early morning steam of a… sorry, I can’t help myself to the urination metaphors.

Duquesnoy was born in Le Quesnoy and died in Brussels, and was the court sculptor for Archduke Albert and Archduchess Isabella. Most of his life was spent working on church furniture and sculptures for the royal palace and gardens. Along with this piece, you can find a sacrament tower in Sint-Martinuskerk in Aalst and another one in Sint-Jakobskerk in Ghent.

Origin stories

The first story I heard was that when Brussels was under siege by the French, Dutch, German, or some other army, a fire was ignited in the city. A young, heroic boy sped to the task of putting out the fire—or fuse from explosives, or something—the only way he could think of: by pissing on it! I told that one to my 5-year-old; he loved it. Though this probably explains all of his joking lately with his toilet.

Another story, which I just learned from AI—so take it or leave it—is that a wealthy merchant’s son peed on a witch’s door, so she turned him into a statue. Now that I’ve read that, I kind of would like to believe that one’s true, but then, this being Brussels, there’d be a lot more pissing statues about…

The dressing begins

Though we can’t date the statue, we do know when the whole dressing thing started. It started in 1746, after the French took Brussels (then at the time part of the Netherlands) during the War of Austrian Succession and occupied the city. The French, seeing how the Brusselaar had a weird reverence for the pissing boy, often mocked it as they passed. The Brusselaar complained up the chain of command that their boy was being mistreated.

Seeing that French attitudes could cause an uprising there, the French King Louis XV, gifted the statue a royal gown, and he made the order that every French soldier passing the statue would have to salute.

Pissing Louis XV

Since then, they’ve taken up dressing the boy in all kinds of clothes.

All the Pissing Clothes

Over the course of his lifetime, our favorite little Belgien has had over 1,000 outfits. He changes outfits for any occasion, pending a request and donation to the city. That’s right, that means you too can design your own little pissing boy clothes and have him wear it (for the right price). They change him up to three times a day, and being a pissing boy dresser is an official, full-time job of the city.

In a chokha for Georgian Independence Day

I’ve seen him wearing a Georgian chokha for Georgian Independence Day, some Italian national clothes, firefighting clothes, graduation clothes, and so on. Really, I don’t remember all the different clothes I’ve seen on him. Most embassies, though, will sponsor an outfit during the Independence Day of their country, and the Church (or some rich religious guy) often has him dress up for religious days.

Lucky for you, they even have many of his clothes on display. Right around the corner, there’s the Garderobe MannekenPis just a spitting distance away. So, if you want the complete experience, you can see the fountain, grab a penis waffle at one of the adult waffle vendors, and scarf that down, and then go to the museum.

On the side of the museum, there’s a gigantic mural of “Manneken Peace”, so don’t miss that. The museum is 5 euro to get in and includes a fairly amusing audio tour (it’s also included in the Belgium Museum Pass).

Manneken Peace

The Pissing Ceremony

Whenever they change the clothes, the sponsor of the getup comes out and makes a little speech to their cohort. Then the caretakers change the clothes, and they do some photo ops. At almost every ceremony I’ve seen, one of the caretakers has a lot of fun controlling the flow in the fountain. That means, at any moment, a “golden stream” shoots out across the street like a broken fire hydrant.

And a Pissing Girl…

Manneken isn’t the only pisser in town. There are, in fact, two more pissing statues, as the Belgians are very much aware of how ridiculous their main tourist icon is.

There’s Jeanekke Pis, who squats down in the “Delirium Village” (itself a tourist icon), don’t go at night or you’ll run into an immovable wall of tourists blocking your way to peep at a statue of a baby girl pissing.

Jeanneke Pis doing her business

Just head down the Delirium cul-de-sac (fun fact, though you can use that word the same in French, it also means “ass bag”) and you’ll find her at the end, surrounded by a swarm of curious Asians and Russians inspired by Western degeneracy all trying to snap a pic.

She’s been there since 1987. The artist Denis-Adrien Debouvre wanted to express his solidarity with women’s rights and show that Brussels is a truly egalitarian city. It’s tradition to throw money into the fountain, and that money is collected and donated to medical research and people in need.

At night, they lock her up with the cage doors to avoid getting damaged or humiliated by all the drunks gathering at Delirium. But on occasion during the day, you can find her fully exposed.

And even a Pissing Dog

Meanwhile, a bit on the opposite end of Old Town, we’ve got Zinneke Pis (also the name of a beer), a famous pissing dog that’s marking his turf on a bollard. The last few times I’ve seen it, the water hasn’t been running though, so don’t expect too be overwhelmed by the action.

The unstoppable

Zinneke has been there since 1999 and was installed by Tom Frantzen as a nod to Jeanneke, and was so popular that they made a copy of him in Neufchatel-Hardelot, France. The poor guy met the fate of many street dogs and was ran over by a car, but lucky for Zinneke, Tom was around to freshen him back up. His name is a nod to the River Senne, which runs at a trickle underneath the city.

Final thoughts

So, take a moment to appreciate the playful spirit of this city. Whether you're marveling at the ever-changing wardrobe of the Manneken Pis, having a laugh at the pissing dog, or tourist dodging at the crowded Delirium Village, remember that Brussels is a city that doesn't take itself too seriously. And maybe, just maybe, you'll find yourself charmed by its irreverent wit and silliness. Just don’t mind the smell.