Tbilisoba

Tbilisoba is one of my favorite events of the year, held on the first, second, or third weekend of October, depending on various factors like sun, moon, and smog alignment. Indeed I was looking forward to it ever since we moved back to this Caucasian wonderland. Back in the day, I remember how it was full of Georgian dance, mtsvadi (Georgian BBQ pork), and cheap wine poured by the liter. Tbilisoba is one part that makes October the best time to visit Georgia in the year, and the other part is the harvest season. A trip to plan to hit both is really the key to a great trip here.

This year 2018 though, I was a little disappointed. It was a lot harder trying to find the more traditional flavors. With the official schedule being more or less vague, we bounced from venue to venue hoping to find some dance or songs, but there was very little of it. But that doesn’t mean we didn’t have a great weekend, as I don’t often let my expectations get in the way of my enjoyment, especially when there's wine and beer involved.

Searching for the Festival

I had seen a big stage being set up on Rustaveli the other day, so we figured there must be something going on there, despite the lack of information on the website. We’ve kind of both come to expect a lack of information, as Georgians simply like to surprise you at things a lot. I’ve missed a lot of stuff looking at official schedules, and I wasn’t planning on missing some big part of the event this time! Besides that, I had also seen people setting up things in Saburtalo, and that was nowhere to be found online…

That was a bust though. Traffic buzzed along as usual, speeding past a curiously empty stage. Quite the celebration.

We hurried down to the Old Town. We stumbled down the otherwise scenic and beautiful Leselidze Street (these days Google and now tourists call it Kote Apfkhazi Street, but anyone who’s been here longer than Google still calls it Leselidze, and good luck telling a taxi driver "Apfkhazi street"!).

Leselidze with curiously few cars, not sure how I snapped this

Leselidze is perhaps one of the most underutilized streets in the city. It has the most honest and scenic beauty of any touristic street around, with low hanging trees, street-side cafes, a couple of beer gardens, and buskers, but it’s smothered in traffic jams and parked cars advertising tours and massages. It’s really beyond me. It’s not even a main traffic corridor of the city, and if they shut it down people would easily find an alternative route up to Freedom Square (it’s only one lane that barely moves as it is). So personally, I think they should nix the street parking on it, and make it pedestrian only on weekends at least, but that’s just me. Ideally, nix the street parking, expand the pedestrian space, and only ever allow public transit (a future tram?), but I guess my first idea is more practical in the short term.

the market near Chardeni

Not much was happening on Leselidze when we were there. We went down to Chardeni Street, which had a market set up. The market had some stalls of flowers, some tourist trinkets, and honey. It was quite a lovely little area and well set up, and I hope that’s repeated throughout the year. Then to Erekle II, which seems to always be a Georgian festival, and as far as Georgian tourist streets, I’ve got to give that one a huge plus these days.

the always beautiful Erekle II

Now Erekle II is full of chairs, greenery, grapevines, and clay jugs hanging where vines don’t. Really beautiful and scenic, and the music is soft and not overwhelming, just enough to give a taste of atmosphere (while we were there at least). My wife commented, “Europeans seem to prefer here, and Turks and Arabs over to New Tiflis on Aghmashenebeli, weird.” Of course, Erekle II has an older and more authentic look, and has a more laid back atmosphere. New Tiflis is overbearing—loud music pounding everywhere, restaurant hosts assaulting you left and right, and very few spots to catch a breath of relaxation. Is it a cultural preference? I don’t know. It is a ME preference though.

Rike Park

Rike Park was clearly where it was at. We crossed over from the Peace Bridge and found ourselves amongst masses of people. There was a flower market that ran up the center of the park, with the flowers mostly for decorations in people’s hair. That led to a kind of children’s stage, where they did karaoke sing-song dances throughout the day. We avoided that like the infectious hospital, the disease of pounding bass and bad lip-synching was probably worse than anything found in the clinic.

the flower market

There were beer and wine gardens throughout, though strangely it was easier to get a hold of beer than wine. Lots of little areas selling mtsvadi, and for pretty fair prices considering it was a festival, and the mtsvadi we gorged ourselves on was actually better than anything I’ve had at a restaurant. There was in general so much mtsvadi cooking going on, it looked like the place was being gassed or firebombed. This area was perhaps better called the Mtsvadi Festival. I’m not complaining about that either, we need more of those.

the frontlines of the war on pork

So much mcvadi, so little time

One thing I will complain about though was the lack of signage. Where and how to order mtsvadi? How much did it cost? It was all a kind of guessing game until you got to the order taker. And then to find out some places were selling more than just mtsvadi, like xatchapuri and so on! But how to know without signs?

looking at Rike Park from the bridge

From there, we found ourselves at Metekhi Bridge, which was having a car show of sorts. Some old Soviet cars, a bunch of race cars, and some lend-lease WWII era American jeeps. I’m not sure if they were the originals or what, but it gave me a nice feel for the end-scene of my upcoming WWII book that takes place here in Georgia.

some lend-lease love

Meidan Square

Meidan Square also had another great market setup that I hope makes seasonal and more common returns. Meidan historically was a market square, the crown of the long Leselidze cough Apkhazi Street once known as the Armenian Bazaar, packed with vendors, tchaixanas, mcvadi cookers, the main artery of the Old Town. The only indication of that history now is a monument to Sayat-Nova in front of the Makhachkala. Now it’s usually a parking lot, and cars continue their carbon spouting trek up the old bazaar street.

Meidan back to its roots

But for a day, some of that spirit had returned to Meidan. Now there was an array of beautiful shelters set up for vendors (not the usual blue burlap I’ve come to know), and the vendors selling quite a diverse array of handmade trinkets, bags, clothes, and so on, where you actually get the feel of a living Georgia and not just things from a Chinese-tourist-factory-vomitorium belted out in Beijing. Here on sale ranged from hipster handicrafts to a couple of tables of wine and a few more of tea and honey. This was either organized or influenced by whoever set up the new market on Rustaveli near the Parliament. A fantastic job.

Abanotubani

Finally, we made it over to the bathhouse district, which in the past had been the forefront of traditional dance. When we were there at first, there was some orchestra that seemed to be rehearsing for something. We came back later hoping to catch some flying and spinning Caucasian sword dance, but again was disappointed to see some sort of electro-rap-hop band. They were good, but not quite what we were hoping for (I’ll save my venom on the Tbilisi music scene for another day). There's definitely room in the festival for both though.

the Killages killing it on stage

the bathhouse district with the most beautiful bath exterior

What would have been great, and what I remember from the past, is if they had reserved at least one stage for folk performances. They could highlight folk groups from across the city, country, and perhaps even invite in Azerbaijani and Armenian performers. But that’s just another random thought. But I feel that at an event like Tbilisoba, there should be some sort of historical, folk connection, especially considering how easy of an event it is to showcase Georgian and pan-Caucasian culture to foreigners and tourists.

Aghmashenebli Street

The next day, we were hoping to catch something on Marjanashvili or Aghmashenebeli Street, but I guess those neighborhoods didn’t get the memo that there was a Tbilisi celebration going on. They were just kind of business as usual. Having been living in Prague for the past four years, we had got a bit spoiled on the Zazit mesto jinak, which would be like “Pragoba” if Prague were a Georgian city. All the different neighborhoods throughout Prague have their own celebrations, and it was a very interesting thing to jump from one festival to the next.

just another day in "New Tiflis"

Imagine in the future a Gldani festival, a Temka festival, an Isani festival… each having live music, wine brought in by the jug, and meat sizzling on shampuris, each with the residents enjoying their lives in those areas, and for a day at least, coming together as a community to celebrate.

Finale

Finally we made it back to the Rustaveli stage. Apparently, they had had an unveiling of a statue of the great Georgian composer, Revaz Lagidze, earlier that day at another square near Old Town, and that was our one opportunity for Georgian folk music… but we missed that. Lagidze, for those not in the know, was a Georgian composer of the 20th century who wrote the soundtrack to just about every Georgian-Soviet film. I’m not really sure how to describe his music, it has some of the chaos of Rach, but more lightly touched with jazz, and the chord structures much more Georgian, almost always over-the-top epic and orchestral.

some famous people on a stage

Here’s a song by him that it’s impossible not to hear if you spend a few weeks in the country:

At least we made it to the finale concert, where they had the music of Lagidze played by full orchestra and a showcasing of all the most famous Georgian singers. The concert was oddly set in the middle of Rustaveli Avenue, the main street of the city, with buses and cars roaring by, which I suppose makes a fitting symbol of modern Tbilisi. Traditionally, festivals in this spot would have been located on the more intimate side of Rustaveli with the view of the city, where it was easy to route traffic away from, why the decision to put it in the middle was lost on me. In all, the Lagidze concert was a pretty fitting end to the festival, both thematically and presentation-wise.

#Tbilisi #streetfood #festivals

Transit in Tbilisi

Tbilisi is a mess. It’s a city with big ideas, but little follow through. Insane construction projects are started in every sector in every corner of the city and they’re rarely finished, stringing out for years and years and possibly decades. Priorities stream mostly to private transit, to such an extent that one former president once bragged about being able to ski in Svaneti and go the beach in Batumi on the same day… via private helicopter, seemingly ignorant that most people in the country, and even most tourists, aren’t able to afford that.

this city's so rich the taxis are Mercedes

However, even taking into account the preference towards private transit, there’s no clear explanation for the condition of Tbilisi’s traffic or roads, or how it can be a confusing nightmare to get around the city. But this handy guide is a bit of a rundown for those that care to venture out of the tourist zones of Old Town and New Tiflis, or to anyone who just needs a lift from one point to another.

Give up now and hire a car

First, what to know:

1. The marshrutkas, buses, and metro all use the same metro card

2. The metro card can be purchased at any metro station for 2 lari

3. You can top up the metro card when you buy it, or from any vendor, or from machines located at most of the main stations

4. You can use coins on the bus or marshrutka, 50 tetri for the bus and 80 for the marshrutka

5. Bus and metro routes can be found on Google maps, but the schedule seems to be pulled from Google’s nether regions

6. Marshrutka and bus routes and times simply need to be guessed or divined from a crystal ball or coffee cup

Bus

The bus is of course the most obvious and easily accessible option. Unfortunately, the bus routes are only written on the bus and in Georgian. There's no route map at the stop or on the bus, but there are at least electronic boards that tell you when the next bus comes, and the final destination for that bus (in English). Good luck on figuring out what destinations are in between you and there, but for that you can use Google maps. On the bus itself, there is no voice or board telling you what stop you’re at, so if you don’t know the city, use your GPS.

buses ready for the race

When you get on the bus, you’ll have to get a ticket or validate your metro card. On newer buses, they have ticketless machines that you have to swipe your card on. There are also ticket machines if you’re a bit wary of the functionality of the ticketless ones. The ticket machines tend to be in the center of the bus, swipe your card or drop your coins (exact change only, 50 tetri) and it’ll print out a ticket.

the pretty and comfy buses... for now

There are two sets of buses: old yellow ones and new blue ones. Pray for a new blue one. The old yellow ones, though only being about 15 years old, look to be about 50 years old and are all in various states of scrap. I once saw a bus driving along without a back cover, the engine as bare as a fat man's bum at a nudist beach, and the gas cover swinging along like... you can finish that metaphor. Not much is thought about in maintenance or cleaning when it comes to the buses, and I fear for the pretty new blue fleet that will no doubt soon be falling apart as well. But they’re nice as they are now, so enjoy.

Marshrutka

Marshrutkas, also known as “suicide shuttles”, are the yellow shuttles that are the cause of most traffic jams and auto-related deaths in the city. They generally cram about 50 people into a vehicle made for 20, and on most routes they can stop to pick up or drop off people at any point. That itself is enough to cause some wacky traffic drama, but on top of that they tend to drive in the centermost lane until someone yells the magic word, then they cross all the lanes of traffic while slamming on their brakes. Buses sometimes have this odd lane-crossing habit as well.

Realizing that that behavior is one of the primary causes of traffic jams, they at least made it illegal to stop anywhere on all the major roads, and now they can only stop at bus stops… however they still drive in the center lane and cross all the lanes of traffic to stop, as if they’re every time surprised about the upcoming bus stop.

remember to shout "gaucheret!" if you ever want off

It would be an easier fix for both buses and marshrutkas if they just made a dedicated HOV lane for them on the major roads and forced them to only use those lanes (and vice versa), then have the traffic police ticket the heck out of all HOV violators. Further they can have an easy electronic system to demerit any drivers seen breaking the rules and dock their pay (or offer a bonus for those with the least demerits if you prefer the carrot approach).

To use marshrutkas, there are a few things you need to know. First, the route is written in Georgian on the window. You can find it online at tm.ge, but finding your location on the map, then putting in your destination, and voila. However, there is no app for it, and you have to be sure you’re not using the mobile version of their webpage, which seems permanently broken.

To get on, simply stand by the road and wave at the one you want (watch that you don’t accidentally wave a taxi in). If you’re on a major road, you can only do this at a bus stop. They’ll stop and you get on and find a seat, don’t worry about paying until you get off.

To get off, you must know the magic words. If you’re on a regular route that’s not on a major road, simply shout “Gaucheret!” Then they’ll stop immediately and pull over. They like this the most when they’re driving at a high speed in the centermost lane. If you’re on a major road, shout, “Gaucherdebaze gaucheret!” and they’ll stop at the next bus stop. As there is no way of telling where you are, and you will most likely be standing with your head in the car dome and no hope of a window view, it’s best to watch yourself on GPS if you don’t know the city or its smells. If you don’t know the city, as you’re getting on, tell the driver where you’re going and he’ll probably stop there for you if he remembers.

You’ll have to pay as you get off. Either give cash to the driver or swipe your metro card on the grey reader next to the door. The cost is typically 80 tetri, though some routes in the suburbs are 50.

Metro

The metro is definitely the easiest way to get around, but you have to have a metro card to use it. They only cost 2 lari though and you can buy one at any metro station at the window labeled “metro” or something like that. Curiously there are guys who stand around the metro selling their metro cards, but I’ve never asked them what the deal with that is. I think if you don’t want to buy a card you can buy a swipe from them, but you can always turn your card in and get a refund when you’re done using it, so I’m not sure what these guys are about. Plus 2 lari isn’t even a dollar… there's probably something illegal going on there, but then the cops are always nearby checking their Facebook, so it mustn't be that big of a deal.

down, down, down, to the burning ring of fire

To enter, just swipe the card and go through the turnstiles. Then down some super steep escalators. Like every other transit, there doesn’t seem to be enough metro cars, and they seem to run very randomly. I’ve seen it during rush hour with 6 minutes in-between, at 11 at night with 2 minutes in-between, and so on, never the same on any two days, not really seeming to relate to demand as its always crowded no matter what. This is all possibly explained once you get on and see how insane the metro drivers drive, like they’re operating a rollercoaster... or a marshrutka in the centermost lane.

The metro goes just about everywhere you need to go in Tbilisi, except for one exception, the “cool neighborhood” known as Vake. Vake was the place for the Party elite, where the peasant rabble couldn’t get to easily because there was no metro (there's also a university there, so I guess they didn't want people attending so much either). There did used to be a tramway there, but a former leader thought it was a great idea to rip out all the trams in the city and sell it for scrap. So now they’re left to buses and marshrutkas and piles of traffic.

Taxis

Taxis are ridiculously cheap in Tbilisi, and people fight tooth and nail over the difference of a lari or two. Seriously, I’ve seen some Americans completely flip the shit out over a lari, which is about 30 cents. Of course, when you’re working as a teacher on local wages, that makes sense, but when you’re a tourist, man, just eat the cost.

Taxis by and large don’t run on meters, you have to negotiate the rate upfront. Typically if you’re going somewhere in the neighborhood, it will be about 3 lari, to an adjacent neighborhood, 4 lari, and so on. Though when they smell foreigner, the rates can be multiplied as many as 5 times. Just be aware of the sweet deal you should be getting, but don’t be offended to pay a little more. Remember, in a city of 1.5 million and 1 million guys are taxi drivers, with 4 out of every 5 cars a taxi, you know that they can’t be making much money.

negotiate first, ask questions later

Probably the safest and easiest way to get a taxi, with the best price for foreigners is to use the Taxify app. Just download it to your smartphone and it will let you pay in either cash or with card. It will find your location on GPS and then all you have to do is type in your destination. A car, usually a Toyota Prius, comes within 10 minutes and brings you to your place without complaint or haggle. It’s quite relaxing and since I’ve moved back to Tbilisi, found it to be a really brilliant, stress-free innovation.

They recently made some new regulations regarding taxis and their cars, which means supposedly past are the days where any car with a missing bumper, smoking hood, and dragging tailpipe would swing over and pick you up. Now they’ve got little green lights that say “TAXI” in their front window, and drive relatively safer cars. Progress as promised.

Cable cars

There are two cable cars or gondolas in Tbilisi (and possibly a third but I’ve only seen it on a map). One connects Ryke Park to Narikala, sailing its passengers over the Old Town up to the castle on a hill, and the other connecting Vake Park to Turtle Lake and the Ethnographic Museum.

a drones-eye-view of the Old Town

The gondolas are possibly the best functioning transit system in Tbilisi. Though there are typically long lines (by which I mean a disordered mob of people), they go pretty fast and the rides are pretty epic. The Ryke Park-Narikala cable car is pretty new and modern, while the Vake Park one looks like it’s had some years on it (though it just re-opened this year after a 10-year hiatus).

The cable cars cost the same as a metro ticket and you need a metro card to get on. Luckily, they also sell the metro cards at the stations. If you don’t have a card, or if you think you don’t have enough money on it, you can just squeeze past the crowd to the booth and buy one/top yours off.

Funicular

Finally, the last bit of transit mayhem you can find in Tbilisi. This is the best route up to Mtatsminda Park (read more about the park here). You can either take a bus from Freedom Square, or walk up half the hill to the base of the funicular. Where the bus does have its own thrill – great views, constant fear of death – the funicular is all fancy, modern, and pretty dependable. Expect long lines, and you’ll have to buy the Mtatsminda Card for 2 lari, and another 3 lari to ride, in order to use it. Again, squeeze past the line and get to the booth.

only half the thrill of the bus

#Tbilisi #traveltips

Taking the Short Tour of Juta and Kazbegi

When I first came to Georgia ten years ago I was struck by something odd. The tradition here is to make hyperbolic toast after toast, and much of it is predisposed on how amazing and beautiful and glorious this country and the people are.

All well and fine, but what stuck me as odd was how little of the country most people had seen. I noticed immediately that the people making the longest, most flamboyant toasts often hadn’t even been out of their region or even village their entire life. Nationalism and pride often works that way though, even in the United States.

Which is a pity. The country of Georgia does have a lot of immensely beautiful things to see. I’m not going to lie and say it’s the most beautiful country in the world (especially when beauty is a generally subjective thing), but it definitely ranks up there, and it’s certainly one of my favorites.

a common scene in Georgia

There were some legit reasons though. Mostly like for people anywhere, travel takes time and money. And in Georgia, it also takes a lot of confusion, patience, and a low risk aversity.

It takes time because the transit system is at best designed by a three-year-old armed with Hot Wheels and a Godzilla toy. Many of the larger tourism destinations aren’t easily reachable by public transit, it might go just once or twice a week (time), and to fit it in your schedule you might have to hire a taxi (money) that costs some 200 to 300 lari while your monthly income might barely be over that.

The best way to see the country is

to rent a car from Discover

One of my biggest arguments when complaining about the transit infrastructure here isn’t that it’s just bad for tourists, which it is, but also bad for Georgians, and that tourism should first be looked at in the spheres that it crosses over with improving the life of the residents of the country.

But things are getting better. Mainly that some enterprising Georgians have decided to make tours that, instead of focusing on the easy-prey foreign tourist, they’ve decided to make tours for Georgians. These tours are usually on the weekend, are cheap, and tend to pack in a lot of sights at once. And even for the foreign tourist, to see as much as possible when you’re on a timeline, I highly recommend just taking a tour like this one or two when you’re here. It’ll make the traveling a lot less stressful, and you won’t have to trust hopefully-well-meaning-but-you-never-know strangers nearly as much (I’ll write a blog later on getting around Georgia).

Here’s an example of a tour (and some places you should see in Georgia):

Horses hanging out under Chaukhi

We decided on an 18 lari day tour to see Juta. I’ve been hiking there several times and had wanted my wife to see it, but upon hearing that it was either a three-day hike (1 day to Juta, one day to the pass, and one day back), or to make it more practical a 100 lari taxi ride to Juta and then hike, she didn’t like the idea so much.

But then we found the tour, on the immensely useful page swoop.ge or hotsale.ge. There are tons of discounts there, but they’re all in Georgian, so probably not useful if you’re traveling here.

The tour was to hit Ananuri, the Russian-Georgian Friendship Monument, some waterfall sort of thing, Juta, the Patriarch’s house, and Kazbegi (Gergets Sameba).

Ananuri

I’ve already written extensively about the 13th century fortress complex here. It’s a beautiful spot and on a tour is probably the best and easiest way to see it (or from a taxi on the way to Stepanitsminda).

The Russian-Georgian Friendship Monument

This mid-60s Soviet monument, which has since been renamed "Gudauri Panorama", means a lot of things to a lot of people. To the Russian tourist coming down through the mountains, it definitely has a lot of positive connotations. It was the time when these two countries were in a union together, that they were friends without problems, and everything was good and fun.

That's the Georgian Queen Tamar in the middle

a man pondering friendship

To Georgians passing it, they look back at 200 years of Russian occupation, at cultural and economic oppression, gulags, and the continuing occupation of two of their territories.

stepping away from the monument

That said, it really is an amazing monument in an even more amazing place, high above the roaring rapids of the Mtiuleti Aragvi River, facing the sheer wall of cliffs on the other side. The monument is composed of a recently renovated mural, with both some standard Soviet propaganda imagery and in the center, a line from Rustaveli’s Knight in the Panther Skin in both Georgian and Russian. For anyone driving this way, it’s a must stop. It’s also becoming a popular place for base jumping and parasailing, so there’s that too.

and it's a long way down

Some waterfall thing

We stopped here for thirty minutes. I don’t know why. There’s some funny looking rock, and some water dripping off it. True story, that funny looking rock used to be about a hundred meters long, but they fixed that when they built a tunnel on top of it. Now it’s about 5 meters long. A bit less impressive. There were many vendors here, but none seemed to be open at lunch time.

some water and stuff

Juta

Juta is hands down one of the most beautiful places for backcountry and day hiking in the country. There are two trails that stem from the village, and the village itself is made of a half dozen guesthouses and boutique and backpacker hotels/hostels. The main trail goes up to the great Chauxi Massif, which pokes up to the sky, making a huge, chimney-like affront to the sky gods. You can make a day hike from Juta to the pass just next to the massif, which offers views over the neighboring peaks and all the way to Kazbegi, Russia, and Dusheti.

Chaukhi massif

Bottom of Juta village looking towards Chaukhi

Coolest spot for a bar

If you start off early in the morning, it’s also possible to hike from Juta, over the pass and see the colored Abedelauri Lakes, and then on to Roshka. I did this once with a friend, but we had a tent and overnighted at the base of the massif. Though we got to Roshka in plenty of time, there was nowhere comfortable left to pitch a tent and we new we had to get to another village, Barisakhlo, to catch the mass transit from there, so we kept on walking. Again, on that mass transit completely not lining up with any realistic tourism strategy! That was five years ago, so maybe they fixed it, who knows. Better to arrange your ride with some shady guy at Didube Metro and Transit Emporium in advance though.

The Patriarch’s House

Many people might not know it, but the Patriarch Ilia II, peace be upon him, was born in the village of Sno, and his house is still right there. That’s the reason why one of the church’s businesses is a water bottling company called “Sno”. Nice, isn’t it? What’s really great at the Patriarch’s house is that just behind it, they built a massive, luxurious 4-star hotel. I’m not sure what people who stay here plan on doing, as there is basically just ruins of a village and a tower… and that’s about it. It’s not really close enough to Juta to serve as a base point, or to Stepanitsminda…

the house and the hotel

the tower in Sno village

Sno village

Sno Valley could easily be developed though (which is actually the Patriarch's dream, hoping the hotel will trigger something). I could see ski slopes, horse back riding ranges, kayaking, all sorts of outdoors activities. Currently there’s walking. And once, I was walking there and approached by an old Georgian guy covered in Soviet prison tats. He was begging for money and/or cigarettes, and telling us how hard life was after getting out of the Gulag. We didn’t have cigarettes, so we gave him some cash to buy some at the next village.

Gergets Sameba

This monastic complex is arguably one of the most famous touristic sites in all of Georgia. It’s situated high above the villages of Gergeti and Stepanitsminda, and was once the place that the Kartlian kings of old would stash their cash when invading armies came wandering through. It’s an incredibly scenic place that the peope have had alternating ideas on how to ruin it, and it’s just been incredible to me to see the transformation.

Gergetis Sameba monastery

Long ago, not more than ten years ago, it was all bright green tundra up there. But then tourism started picking up and the locals figured that a quick way to make a buck was to drive up the lazy ass tourists. So that’s what they started doing. After which, rather than making one, simple route across the tundra, everyone decided that they had to make their own path. Those fiercely independent Georgians, you know? Now much of the land is all brown dirt, but at least the church sits high enough that you don’t have to capture the brown dirt when you’re making shots of it.

don't tread on me

Seeing that most people rather drive up to the holy monument than take the 1 or 2 hour pilgrimage on foot, the government decided to set aside a few million and pave a road up there. As we took the taxi up—the tour was so speedy that it would have been impossible to do the walk, so we took Delica taxis up—the taxi driver explained, “Once they finish, I will come back at night and blow up the pavement!”

the Delica taxis that are currently the only way up

Why? Currently only off-road vehicles can make the route. That means even if you have your own transportation to Stepanitsminda, if you want to be lazy, you probably still have to hire a local to help you get to the church. With the new pavement though, any car will be able to make it up. The locals make zero money off this, Stepanitsminda probably loses some tourism from that as now it’s perfectly easy to go from Vladikavkaz or Tbilisi, drive up to Gergetis, and make it home before dinner. The government also makes zero money off it, unless they decide to put a toll on the road.

the awesomeness that is Kazbegi

Who exactly wins here? People with their own car. So, Russian tourists win, for the most part.

Now, I understand the need to get lazy people to the top to take their Instagram photos. I really do. Or maybe someone actually can’t physically do the climb, they’ve every right to see the view as well, and/or to make their pilgrimage and light their candles. But isn’t there a better, more environmentally friendly and economically profitable way to the top?

There is!

What I’m about to tell you will blow your mind!

Seriously!

Years ago, the Soviets had made a cable car, or a gondola, that went from the village of Gergeti to the just next to the monastery. Yes, the atheist Soviets had a better idea on how to visit a religious monument than supposedly religious people. It almost reminds me of that apocryphal story about the Soviet cosmonauts using a pencil while NASA threw millions to make a special ink.

another view of the monastery

If they built a cable car, and banned all driving up, it would accomplish three things:

1. Make rehabilitation of the tundra a lot easier without cars

2. Make hiking up the main path a lot more pleasant without cars

3. They could charge 10 lari for the gondola ride and make a heck of a lot of money, which then could be reinvested in the infrastructure of Gergeti and Stepanitsminda.

4. Four things. I lied. Because a cable car in this place would just be absolutely, friggin’ cool. It’s amazing that Georgians seem to be obsessed with throwing them everywhere unnecessary in Tbilisi, but out where it’d be a good idea? Nope, no thanks!

Oh well, it’s probably too late to save Gergetis Sameba. But maybe the powers that be could learn from the mistakes and lost opportunities here… especially as they plan to pave a road from Juta and Roshka, destroying the hiking and guesthouse industry in those villages…

Finally, on the way back, we hit up a khinkali restaurant. Khinkali are some amazing little dumplings that often have a kind of spice in them. They were supposedly invented in Pasanauri, a small mountain village on the route. Nevertheless, I still haven’t found a place I’m thrilled to eat at. The place they took us is listed on Google maps as Хороший Ресторан На Казбеги, which translates roughly as, “Russian tourist trap”. It was definitely better than the place we ate at in Ananuri, so it had that going for them. And their khinkalis seemed to have giant meatballs inside, so that was also awesome.

#churches #touristicsites #hiking #rantsandraves