We've all heard of the "slow food" movement, where many people are turning away from fast food and trying to enjoy the experience of a long restaurant meal. This, of course, is a little alien of a concept in countries like France, where every meal takes a few hours, so maybe Americans can relate to this more.
Along the same lines, I want to introduce a different movement, especially for parents traveling with their kiddos. "Slow travel".
As the dad of a five-year-old, I've learned that family trips require a whole different mindset than my free-spirited backpacking days. Kids march to their own drums—usually a slower, more meandering one that involves stopping to examine every interesting rock and bug along the way. I've tossed my old "must-see-everything" travel style out the window and embraced "slow travel" to its extreme, trading in the racing for the meandering.
Family travel is all about adjusting expectations and redefining what it means to have a "successful" trip, "successful" of course, being a relative term. Gone are the days of cramming in every possible sightseeing spot and racing from one attraction to another. Instead, the focus shifts to slowing down and just enjoying the moment with my family—at a pace that suits everyone, especially the little man.
Balance Is Key
So my wife and I now tone down our trip planning, making sure we mix grown-up activities with kid-friendly adventures. For every art museum visit, we balance it with playground time. For every historic site, we find a cool cafe with cake or macaroons where our little guy can refuel and do the wiggly worm. It's all about the give-and-take, you know.
You've got to remember that kids have a limited attention span. While you might be excited to explore a historic cathedral or an art gallery, your kiddo might find it overwhelming or, frankly, boring. So my theory is that by alternating between adult-focused and kid-friendly activities, you can keep everyone happy. Well, as happy as possible. This approach also allows for a more relaxed itinerary, where there's always something fun for you kid to look forward to, which can make the more 'grown-up' activities more manageable.
Capture the Real Moments
Forget Instagram-perfect moments and focus on the belly laughs, silly songs, and those precious times when your kid's face lights up with some pure sense of mysterious entertainment. Those are the souvenirs worth keeping. It's these unplanned moments that often become the highlights of your trip.
Kids find joy in the simplest things—when at Planckendael Zoo here in Belgium we were in the Orangutan exhibit, there was also a butterfly terrarium. I think we ended up walking in more than one circle chasing those butterflies. Though we were exhausted, we had to remember, it's all right, he's really enjoying the moment, and that's the point of the trip.
There's always something to wait for: a butterfly fluttering by, a funny-looking rock, or a specially made-up window along the street. Embracing these moments, rather than stressing over the perfect photo op, can lead to a more relaxed and enjoyable trip for everyone.
Don't Plan It Tight
Kids have little legs. That means they are S-L-O-W. And if yours is anything like mine, it can take twenty minutes just to get a shirt on. You know your kid. Just as you would at home, you need to be sure to factor in the time it takes to do anything when you're planning your trip.
If walking somewhere might take you 20 minutes, then expand that to an hour. You'll have to first walk somewhere, rest two or three times, maybe have a coffee/juice to refresh, play in a random playground, and THEN make your destination. Don't be in a rush though.
Embrace the slowness. It's pleasant and relaxing. This is more like soaking in the life of the neighborhood and "living like a local" anyway than racing from one tourist monument to the next. You're there to bond with your kid and partner, creating those golden moments you'll talk about years from now—not to chase down every dusty suggestion from some random internet guru.
Flexibility Is Golden
When traveling with children, keep your schedule loose. Kids move at their own speed, which doesn't always work with a well-thought-out schedule. Allow some time for any number of unplanned detours, rest stops, and unexpected setbacks. If you're willing to be a little flexible, you can transform possible travel disasters into pleasant little side quests.
A flexible itinerary means you can seize unexpected opportunities. You might stumble upon a local festival, a street performance, or a hidden gem of a park that wasn't in any guidebook. These happy accidents are frequently the highlights of a vacation. Being able to adjust your plans on the fly means you're not tied to a rigid schedule, which makes everything less stressful and more enjoyable.
You'll have to let go of an inflexible mindset. Maybe you really had your mind set on making it all the way around the Christmas market and seeing absolutely everything there was to see. Or maybe you can enjoy the place just as much in that one corner of the festival with the carousel. Just let your kid have fun and relax. If you're not in a rush, if you don't really NEED to do something, then why stress out about it?
Collaborative Planning
Before the trip, you should have a sit-down with your partner. Make a list. For each day, plan on doing only 1 or 2 things that you'd enjoy. Then 1 or 2 things your partner would enjoy. Then pull up Google Maps and see what kind of things your kid would enjoy between the things you and your partner would enjoy.
This is what I do every time we go somewhere. Though, to be honest, my wife isn't overly interested in this process, and I'm the one more obsessed with staring at maps. But you do whatever works for you. But the search itself can be real fun, I think. Just type in "playground" and Google will bring up all their options, translating it automatically behind-the-scenes so you don't have to worry about language issues.
But planning together as a family can make the trip more enjoyable for everyone. If your kid is a little older, include them in the process and show them pictures of all the search results. Mine is always more than happy to say, "That one there!" "That one looks boring!" That's some valuable information there.
Let them choose their favorite, or show them some cool ones that you've pre-selected to get them excited. This not only helps in managing expectations but also builds excitement and gives your child a sense of involvement in the trip, and suddenly buckling him in isn't such a struggle. Though you will have to answer the question of, "How many minutes till the playground?" about one hundred times. But that's better than listening to whining or crying. Choose your battles.
If you're traveling in Europe, keep in mind most of the famous spots have playgrounds next to them or even in them. Especially France. I'm always amazed by how family-friendly that country is. Knowing there are kid-friendly spots near major attractions can make it easier to plan a day that balances everyone’s interests, no doubt about it.
Road Tripping
These thoughts can just as easily be integrated into road trips. For any one or two hours you're driving, make sure to have at least one stop to stretch your legs, and for every three hours, you need some play time. Plan it so you're not in a rush, and your little one can enjoy the experience.
If you don't plan for stops, then those long stretches can turn into long nightmares of whining while the kiddo fights you for future trips. Now at all a good idea. So just as you would do with your walking tours, do with your driving. Plan for stops, whether they be McDo's, rest stops with playgrounds, or villages with menageries or castles. There's always something going on somewhere, especially in Europe.
The Joys of Slow Travel
Slow travel isn't just a necessity when traveling with kids—it's a joy. By taking your time, you get to experience places in a way that's often missed in the rush of traditional tourism. And to be honest, you definitely get to "feel" the city a lot more than you would otherwise racing from one tourist site that a local never visits to another.
This slower pace also allows you to forget about some Tripadvisor bullcrap checklist and focus more on your family's needs, enjoying the journey rather than just the destination. Whether it's a leisurely walk through a local market, a long afternoon at a park, or an extended coffee break at a charming café, these moments of relaxation and exploration can lead to deeper connections with both the place you're visiting and the people you're with.
It's just kind of sad that it took me having a kid to fully realize that.
Making Memories
Ultimately, the goal of family travel is to make lasting memories. By embracing a slower pace, being flexible, and involving everyone in the planning process, you can ensure that your trips are filled with joy, laughter, and unforgettable experiences. So, pack your bags, embrace slow travel, and get ready for adventures that your family will cherish forever.
This blog is taken from my upcoming book, A Facetious Guide to Traveling with Kids. Sign up on my newsletter to make sure you get a free Kindle copy when it comes out!
